Heartache...

Tonight is a really bad "missing Josh night".. this is really hard. And it's really hitting me that he's gone.. And I can't really talk to anyone about it because there is so much other stuff going on and no one really has time.. so this is where I get to express it all... my blog.. pathetic huh? Right noe, I wish I could just sleep for the nest two years and wake up on the day he comes home.. It just hurts so bad.. all I can do is sit here and cry.. I miss him more than anything..I just need to hear from him. Then it will be a little bit better. I juat wish I could really talk to someone anout it. Without smirky comments or anything like that. Just someone who won't talk, or if they do all they say is "i'm sorry" or " I understand, Just cry." just someone's shoulder to cry on.. but of course, with all the other crap going on, that's pretty much impossible. I just need to breathe and suck it up I guess. I feel so alone.. this blows.. I can't wait till things look up and I finally get my first letter!! Now back to stalking the mailbox..